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While it’s true that being fashionably late to a party is traditional, if you haven’t read Strange Bedfellows go back and do so now, as it features the guest list.

When I’d been a player in this module the lady playing Pernicia spontaneously decided mid-module that the bride’s dress was missing–and this got a lot of characters worked up. I stole that idea for this run. I thought that, as the GM/NPCs, I would have to come up with all sorts of things to go wrong during the wedding planning. Boy, was I mistaken. . . .

When I did declare the bridal gown and bridesmaid’s dress missing the guy playing Pernicia put on the highest pitched voice he could manage and screamed for the assistant to “Find them NOW!” When the dresses did arrive, Krista’s was perfect. Chastity (played by Mage Mistress) asked me how her dress looked and I shrugged and said “You decide.”

A few seconds later a high pitched wail came from the part of the room designated as the “bridal suite” as Chastity began crying “I am not that fat!” Pernicia again ordered her assistant to “GET THE TAILOR!” Obligingly, he ran off.

The florist then arrived with a cartload of orange flowers for the wedding. Except Krista absolutely did not want orange flowers; Pernicia, again in a high-pitched voice, yelled at the man and orders him to bring the correct, white flowers.

Meanwhile, the guys playing Edward (who wants to ruin the wedding and win Krista back) and Kristof (who was a natural-born troublemaker) took it upon themselves to screw with the preparations as much as possible. When the tailor came to fix Chastity’s dress, Kristof intercepted him and said, “I’m sorry, your services are not needed, but here’s some coin for your troubles.” Annoyed, the tailor returned to his shop. When the florist arrived with new flowers, something similar happened–he was told there was a mix-up and that they actually DID want the orange arrangements.

At the same time Angela is trying to seduce the General. She succeeds in convincing him she’s much better for him than her sister. Angela (being played by a black guy with dixie cups down his shirt) and the General (being played by a guy who looks like a linebacker) begin pantomiming making out.

"Angela" and "The General"

This picture is censored to protect the not-so-innocent.

While I’m trying to hold back peals of laughter, Angela and the General walk over to Trent, arm in arm, and the General declares he’s going to cancel the wedding and marry Angela instead.

Trent calmly and patiently explains what a terrible idea that would be politically and then asks if he can speak freely. The General agrees, and Trent says, “Damn you, sir, for taking the woman I love.”

“Why, Trent, I didn’t know you felt that way!” the General says. He hooks Angela’s arm in Trent’s, says “I hope you’re very happy together,” and walks off, leaving them both stunned.

Soon, Pernicia begins hollering “Where the hell is the tailor?” and the florist returns with orange flowers. Pernicia tells off the florist yet again and orders her assistant to find the goddamn tailor and escort him all the way there if need be. The assistant, trying to be extra-helpful, brings three tailors and a cobbler (prompting cries of “Whats wrong with the shoes?!”), and Chastity’s dress gets fixed. While everyone focuses on the dresses, Edward rouses up the family dogs, who run through the kitchen and ruin the cake. This prompts everyone to go deal with that crisis–giving Kristof a free shot to dump red wine on the wedding dress.

All of this chaos has made the General very paranoid that someone is after him, and he begins to wonder why Trent has been unable to find the culprits. When the florist comes back with orange flowers a third time the General threatens to behead the florist if he comes back again with anything but white blooms. After the wedding dress is discovered to be damaged, the three tailors and the cobbler are recalled to fix it, and do the job well and quickly (under duress, with Trent’d guards watching them the whole time).

Eventually Kristof sneaks Edward into the bridal suite. Trent notices Kristof leaving the bridal suite and discovers Edward in the closet. He closes the closet door, says “Huh.” and the orders two men to watch the door. He brings the General into the room, and reveals Edward to him. The General orders Trent to leave and demands to know what Edward was doing.

Edward pours out his true feelings for Krista. The General pauses for a moment when he’s done, and then stabs Edward in the gut. Edward falls over and it is revealed that he had a knife. When the General sees that, he assumes Trent was trying to help Edward kill him (Trent was doing nothing of the sort, and was totally on the General’s side). The General asks Trent to return to the room and kills him, too. Then he asks for Krista to come up. When she sees the bodies, she screams, but the General runs her through, assuming his bride-to-be was in on this “conspiracy.” Lastly he kills Kristof, because some of the NPC guards figured out he was one of the people screwing with the wedding.

Since he’s killed his bride and Trent, the General decides to marry Angela. He also decides to have everyone else arrested for good measure until he can sort out who was trying to kill him.

Except, of course, nobody was.